After dealing with a meth addict for two years, I have somehow lost my ability to reason.
Botton line: My fiancee would come to my home high on meth, and with meth in his car. He would either come high, or would be so exhausted after a binge, that he would nod off while I was trying to talk to him. Or he would sleep for three days, waking up only to eat sweets.
I would repeatedly make him leave (his words: RUN HIM OFF). This was his reasoning for cheating on me with numerous other meth addicts (females) and now completely discarding and ignoring me.
I know this sounds insane: But wasn't I right to make someone leave my house who was high on meth? It made me so miserable: turning on the lights in the middle of the night, acting nuts, just not being PRESENT.
People in my circle of concern look at me like I am clinically insane that I was involved with someone on meth. I did not know what meth was, but soon found out. He was sneaking and smoking in my garage and guest bathroom.
I truly loved him, and he choose meth over me. bottom line. I have tried everything: I go to meeting (closest one is 45 minutes away) vigorous exercise, anti depressants. I am still devastated.
He has been an addict for over 20 years. He used to smoke crack. He now smokes meth everyday.
We were moving toward out and out VIOLENCE: when high on meth, he was completely uncontrollable. When he would leave, it would take 1-2 days of bed rest to recover. When he was here, if he was not passed out, he was pacing, anxious, and always left to go back to "methland" (he lives two hours away) and he would use.
I just need someone to hear me and understand. I can't seem to recover from this. I loved this man. He has discarded me like 5 day old fast food. I would not use meth with him and asked him to stop. So, he leaves me to go be with a woman who smokes meth and lost her children due to some issues.
I have never had a speeding ticket, own two homes, have a clean, calm life. I am at a loss.
Sorry if this is disjointed. I am just so sad and also, angry AT HIS PATHOLOGICAL LYING.
Any and all advise would be so greatly treasured.