From Nar-Anon Family Groups literature
One of the tools used in Nar-Anon is detachment. As addiction is a family disease, this recovery tool is useful in helping the family help themselves. This is written to help you understand the concept of detachment. As we apply these new thoughts we help ourselves and learn a better way to live.
In Nar-Anon we learn that we are not responsible for the illness or actions of others or the results of those actions.
We become aware that we are obsessed with another’s behavior and as we learn to let go we find that we can live our own lives in a more manageable, happier and constructive way.
We let our lives be guided by a Power greater than ourselves and we release them with love and cease trying to change them. We admit we cannot control someone else’s life.
We learn in Nar-Anon:
• Not to allow ourselves to be manipulated or controlled by another person;
• Not to accept others responsibilities;
• Not to stand in the way to prevent a crisis;
• Not to provoke a crisis;
• Not to make excuses, cover up or take the blame for other;
• We care enough not to care;
• Not to be personally offended by the addict.
We can look past the drugs and see another human being who has the disease called addiction which is caused by drugs. We learn compassion.
Detaching ourselves is neither kind nor unkind. It is a simple way of beginning our own recovery program, and allows us to recover from the devastating effects that living with the disease of addiction has had on our own lives.
In facing reality we can look at our own situation in a more objective and realistic way. We begin to create a positive chain of reactions which allows us to make intelligent and constructive decisions.