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Author Topic: STEP ONE - THE NAR-ANON TWELVE STEP PROGRAM
Daisydclow-
n
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Posts: 6
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Post Re: STEP ONE - THE NAR-ANON TWELVE STEP PROGRAM
on: October 2, 2016, 17:40
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I just love what you said about step one Annie. I guess I am at step one and trying to do nothing and allow him (my husband) to follow the journey he chooses. This makes me feel peaceful and allows me to go on without him in my life. A bit lonely and not what I choose, but as I ask him to allow me to be "me," I have to allow him to be just that - him. We spoke a bit this week and saw each other and we haven't spoken in 2 days now and it makes my mind thinking, "is he using?" He didn't make it to church this am and will he be there tonight? It's hard to sit at church without him. I am ok at home without him, but would really like him by my side. Oh well! My desires are just that - mine. I can't force him to do anything, nor do I choose to.

I was thinking this am that he has to do all of the work on him and I cannot force him to start, but I can work on me. That is my focus - pull back and detach a bit to care about me.

I sit here and think about his addiction and part of me thinks, "I would feel guilty if something happens to him," and the other side says, "it is none of my business." I now know that I can't force him into anything, guilt him, or coerce him. I am letting go and letting God be in charge of us, individually and jointly, and whatever happens, I get to choose my choices, actions, reactions, etc.

Ethansmama-
0804
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Posts: 1
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Post Re: STEP ONE - THE NAR-ANON TWELVE STEP PROGRAM
on: April 23, 2017, 19:45
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I just don't understand...... That's all I can really say at this point I wrote down important parts of the reading and I am hoping that I can work my step one. I am powerless over the addict. Just keep repeating it. I am powerless over the addict! I am powerless. We have been together for almost 4 years. The first 2 1/2 I was completely oblivious and had no idea that he was an addict. I have never been around it so I had no idea. He finally told me. I was shocked! How do you react when you find out something like that? I just balled my eyes out and wanted to "fix" him. I just kept asking him what I can do to help him.... He just said that I can't... I felt helpless... Then I found this group and al-anon in my area. It's the best thing to happen to me. I need that support. To this day I still do not understand. I still have a hard time saying that "I am powerless over the addict." I have a hard time because I still have that thinking that I can help. Is there something I can say? Is there something I can do? But that's why I am here. I am going to hand it all over to my higher power. I am powerless over the addict.

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